Friday, May 28, 2010

Confession

I LOVE fucking with you people that are such assholes that you wont let a faster car use your lane to pass. I see you all the time. You'll be one of the two cars with pole position at a light, and when we take off, you'll keep pace with the other guy because you saw me going fast earlier. You seem to have this inadequacy complex that makes you angry when faster people pass you. I really don't understand it. Whenever I feel like driving slow, I make double sure that I'm not holding up people that are driving with purpose. But you? You feel the need to enforce some kind of childish rule about being first. What you fail to understand, is that I'm not trying to beat you, I'm just going wherever the fuck I'm going. Stop taking it personally!

So the way I deal with you fuckheads is to pretend that I don't really want to pass you. We all take off at the light, but if I ride the ass of the guy in front of me, you'll be a dick and keep me boxed in. So what I do is take off and kinda ride the ass for a couple of seconds, but only to the top of whatever gear the road allows. I leave it in that gear, and let my truck decelerate, and play with my stereo or something. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see you notice that I've submitted to your lane superiority, and watch you do that head-bobbing, relax-into-the-seat bullshit, like you think you've got me sufficiently boxed in. Unfortunately, you're stupid. Just like every other sheep on the road, you'll let your car slow down at the same speed as mine, as long as my nose is further back than yours, but you fail to notice that you've just opened enough space for me to pass. Then it happens... I'm in a low gear, and you're a douche, so I hit the gas and overtake you in less than a second.

You stupid geek. Why are you trying to hold me back, anyway? What do you care? I'm just going to where I'm going. I'm not going 30 over the limit, I just want to fuckin go. Your feeble attempts at making me drive under the speed limit only give me opportunity to polish my douche overtaking skills.

Think about that. Asshole.

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